No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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