Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
