Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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