I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
