fuck your aforementioned shoe
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
