I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Success! We fucked roommates!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
