Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
