What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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