New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
