I must be too annoying 4 u.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
