the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
