I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
