This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
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