i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
