we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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