bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
