I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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