this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
