went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
