Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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