I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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