I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
