apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
