Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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