Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize