i just wanna soil my oats bro
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
