so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
