My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
