We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
