I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
