Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
