Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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