She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
