I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
