their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
