absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize