hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
