wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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