I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
