R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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