I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize