I should be sponsored by Trojan
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
