You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
