what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
