..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
