Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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