I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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