but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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