The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
God, I missed his penis.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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