he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
