i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
