worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
