at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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