oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize