I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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