Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He felt like a one man threesome
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
