hotel room ftw
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
