he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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