I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
