When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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