I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
