You just made me feel so damn special
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
