Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
