I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
